Saying goodbye

I just finished packing my bag and it's about 10 after 3 on Friday morning. We have an hour befor we head to the airport so I just wanted to write down a few things before I start the returning process.
First of all...THANK YOU for all of your prayers and support throughout this life-changing experience. This trip has been so different from what I ever could have imagined and I praise God for that. I have learned and grown so much and I can't wait to spring into action when I get home (even though I have no idea what that "action" might look like, haha).
David Bordner asked me to describe my trip in 3 words if I could...Unexpected, life-changing, and beautiful. Unexpected because the Lord met me in ways I never could have dreamed, life-changing because, well, my life is changed! And beautiful because how else can I describe the people that I have encountered here? I am looking forward to being home, but I am honestly at the point where I want to stay. I have built such great friendships and I finally feel like a part of a community/family and I just want to stay and soak in that. I love this country with all my heart and I think the hardest part about leaving is not knowing when I will be back.

I have been think about Slovenia ever since Ben Izzard talked about the 2 week missions trip about 2 years ago. I've been focused on Slo for so long so now what should I focus on Lord? I know He will show me in time and I totally trust His plan; it's just hard because I do feel so connected to this country. So please be patient with me when I return. It's going to be a process:) See you all soon! Thank you again for all your love, prayers, and support!

Winding down

Monday night is that last night I will be spending in Gloria and Seba's house. Then Heather and I will spend our final nights in the same place we spent our first nights, at Hondo and Trisha's!
I can honestly say that I am overwhelmed with grief at the idea of leaving. That last few days have been brutal and they seem to be getting harder.

Today I said goodbye to one of the most amazing young women I have ever met. Her name is Mana. God brought her into my life during the first week of camp and I am so grateful to Him for that. Words can't describe the love I have for that girl and saying goodbye was....awful. But we do plan on seeing each other again very soon:)

As far as MetalKova is concerned, God has given me peace and I have excepted that a prayer walk most likely wont happen. I am ok with that even though it's super hard to be. I think the Lord wants me to feel the weight of this place and pray for someone else to rise up and do something about it. But I will always have a special place in my heart for MetalKova. I plan on spending the day in Ljubljana on my last Sunday and I am hoping to spend some time outside MetalKova just praying and turning it over to the Lord. It's time for some closure. *sigh* See you all soon! Please pray for Wednesday and Thursday, that's the intern debrief time:)

tough day at the office.

So I have spent the last few nights in Ljubljana and I forgot my Bible and journal so my blog gets to be my journal haha.

Today was a rough day. For starters, the coffee I've been drinking the last few days hasn't had quite enough caffine so I've had a headache for the last 2 almost 3 days and have been slightly on edge, haha. But that's just icing on the cake. Today we interns had planned to go on a prayer walk in a part of town that my heart has been really drawn to. It's called MetalKova. It's a really popular teen hangout spot and one of the girls I met at my first week of camp took me there and said it was one of her favorite places to be. As soon as I walked into the area I immediately felt the evil and darkness. The entire place is decorated with grafitti, paintings, sculptures and many more types of art. While I admired the artistic value of the place, it was hard to get past how dark it was, even on such a hot and sunny day.

This place has been on m heart since I was there about 3 or 4 weeks ago. I have been wanting to do a prayer walk there and haven't stopped thinking about it. I went back last week with one of my friends and took some pictures and it almost seemed darker through my camera.

The girl that brought me there the first time told me that kids hang out there because it's the only place they feel at home. It's the only place they can relax and "be free." Really, the only freedom they have there is to get high, wasted, and even more lost in their own pain. I hate that. I saw some of the kids that hang out at MetalKova and my heart broke and still continues to break for them.

So anyway, we interns were going to do a prayer walk there. But before we left one of our leaders asked me about it and shared her concerns with me. She said she didn't have a good feeling about us going without some sort of spiritual leader with us. She thought that because this place is so evil and spiritually dark that we might get in over our heads spiritually. I can't say that I don't agree with her because I do and I totally trust her gut instincts. But I still feel...depressed about it. I guess that's the right word because as soon as I excepted the fact that it wouldn't happen without a "spiritual leader" my heart sank so low. The worst part about this is that all of our leaders are at a retreat until 2 days before we leave and trying to figure out a time when they will be around before we go is super stressful for me. Plus I know that if I leave without doing a prayer walk through this place I will really regret it. People have said "you could just pray for it without being there" which kinda frustrated me a bit because that's not how I work and that's not what has been laid on my heart! In this case I need to see what I'm praying for in order to fully engage in the pain and darkness of it and in order to really feel the compassion that God has given me for these kids! UGH.

I guess one positive way to look at this is that if I hadn't been told to wait, I wouldn't be so frustrated right now and then I wouldn't be blogging about it and asking each of you to pray. Please pray for this place and these kids. Please pray that I will have a chance to do this prayer walk. Please pray that one day the darkness in this place will be replaced with the light of Christ and that He would redeem it into a place where teens can hang out and worship Him! Who knows maybe those walls will be torn down and a church will be built there in it's place....anything is possible with Christ. I love this country.

Thank you for your prayers

MetalKova...

Too fast, but not fast enough...

Well, this is my last full week in Slovenia. Just like the title states it has come too fast but not fast enough. I am so excited to see everyone and be back in a culture that I understand, haha! But, when I think about actually leaving and knowing that I most likely wont be back next year; I get very sad. This is about as bitter-sweet as it gets. So I will just have to live each day to the fullest! :) So for this weeks agenda: Monday-the zoo! (yessssss) Tuesday-possible prayer walk with the interns then lunch and after that...dinner!! Wednesday-shopping with some lady friends! Thursday, Friday, and Saturday are still up in the air!

Thankfully Heather and I have been able to hang out with the same group of girls so it's been super fun getting to know them:) I think that's all for now...bye!!

Party time!

I'll be home in 2 weeks!!! I am so excited to be back in America with everyone I love:) But it's gonna be SUPER hard to say goodbye to everyone here. God has built up some awesome friendships and I am so thankful for that. For the last week and up until I go home I basically just get to do follow-up with students! I, along with the other interns, are also looking for ways we can bless the families we have had the pleasure of working with. I get to use my photoshop skills and process Gloria's wedding photos! The photographer they had at their wedding did a horrible job so she only has about 50 that she really likes and even those need a lot of work:( So that's one of my side jobs and I can't wait!
Tomorrow (Friday) Nate, Heather, and I are meeting a bunch of students at Lake Bled for the day and next week Heather and I are going shopping with a few girls:) I have been waiting to go shopping for the last 3 weeks, haha! Other than that we are just taking each day as it comes and trying to plan something else after each hang-out. Please pray that the Lord opens up windows to spend time with all these kids and continues to soften their hearts toward Jesus. thanks for your love!!

Love mal

*sigh of relief*

Aaaaaaaaaand we're done! While I know that in a couple of weeks I am going to miss the hustle and bustle of camp and always meeting new people, I am very relieved to be done. God was faithful as usual and gave me the energy and patience to make it through. Praise Him! Saturday is a day off at the seaside and I can't wait to swim in the Med. sea!! YAAAYYY! I don't know what else to say at the moment except please pray that I will be able to spend as much time with students as possible! Thanks:)
love everyone! Mal

Halfway there

Hello everyone! Hope you all are doing well:)

I am halfway done with the last camp and it's been a great week! I have moments when I get frustrated and annoyed but that is to be expected after a crazy 2 weeks:) God, as always, has given me strength each day to make it through. I have had a lot of fun with each of our rowdy kids and I love seeing their smiling faces throughout the day.

I wont deny that my attitude has been kinda poopy lately and, even though I didn't like that mind-set, I was stuck in it. Then Heather and I got a chance to talk with Kari and Amy and I was greatly encouraged by them. We also had a few hours of debrief time with the Spokane team and it was great to see them one more time before they left. And while I was getting ready this morning, God brought back a very important memory. It was from back when I was concerned that Slovenia might not be His plan for me. Through that struggle I realized that it doesn't matter where I am as long as I'm serving the Lord. This is something I have been struggling with at the kids camp. I have been feeling like my skills could be used better by spending time with and building relationships with older kids that are really wrestling with the whole "Jesus thing." But God reminded me that it doesn't matter where I am, as long as I am serving Him. DUH!! I am so annoyed with myself for being so selfish and hard-headed. Lord forgive me! I have been blessed with the chance to love these kids and be a light to them at an early age. Almost all Slovenes never get that chance. What a beautiful opportunity for me, thank you Father! I may be tired and sweaty all day but I know the Lord wants me here and I feel SO honored and humbled by that. Hvala Gosposd, pojem alelujia! (Thank you Lord, I sing hallelujiah!)

I am so excited to continue working here, but I am also very homesick. Please pray that it would not get in the way of my job here:) Thank you! LOVE!!!