tough day at the office.

So I have spent the last few nights in Ljubljana and I forgot my Bible and journal so my blog gets to be my journal haha.

Today was a rough day. For starters, the coffee I've been drinking the last few days hasn't had quite enough caffine so I've had a headache for the last 2 almost 3 days and have been slightly on edge, haha. But that's just icing on the cake. Today we interns had planned to go on a prayer walk in a part of town that my heart has been really drawn to. It's called MetalKova. It's a really popular teen hangout spot and one of the girls I met at my first week of camp took me there and said it was one of her favorite places to be. As soon as I walked into the area I immediately felt the evil and darkness. The entire place is decorated with grafitti, paintings, sculptures and many more types of art. While I admired the artistic value of the place, it was hard to get past how dark it was, even on such a hot and sunny day.

This place has been on m heart since I was there about 3 or 4 weeks ago. I have been wanting to do a prayer walk there and haven't stopped thinking about it. I went back last week with one of my friends and took some pictures and it almost seemed darker through my camera.

The girl that brought me there the first time told me that kids hang out there because it's the only place they feel at home. It's the only place they can relax and "be free." Really, the only freedom they have there is to get high, wasted, and even more lost in their own pain. I hate that. I saw some of the kids that hang out at MetalKova and my heart broke and still continues to break for them.

So anyway, we interns were going to do a prayer walk there. But before we left one of our leaders asked me about it and shared her concerns with me. She said she didn't have a good feeling about us going without some sort of spiritual leader with us. She thought that because this place is so evil and spiritually dark that we might get in over our heads spiritually. I can't say that I don't agree with her because I do and I totally trust her gut instincts. But I still feel...depressed about it. I guess that's the right word because as soon as I excepted the fact that it wouldn't happen without a "spiritual leader" my heart sank so low. The worst part about this is that all of our leaders are at a retreat until 2 days before we leave and trying to figure out a time when they will be around before we go is super stressful for me. Plus I know that if I leave without doing a prayer walk through this place I will really regret it. People have said "you could just pray for it without being there" which kinda frustrated me a bit because that's not how I work and that's not what has been laid on my heart! In this case I need to see what I'm praying for in order to fully engage in the pain and darkness of it and in order to really feel the compassion that God has given me for these kids! UGH.

I guess one positive way to look at this is that if I hadn't been told to wait, I wouldn't be so frustrated right now and then I wouldn't be blogging about it and asking each of you to pray. Please pray for this place and these kids. Please pray that I will have a chance to do this prayer walk. Please pray that one day the darkness in this place will be replaced with the light of Christ and that He would redeem it into a place where teens can hang out and worship Him! Who knows maybe those walls will be torn down and a church will be built there in it's place....anything is possible with Christ. I love this country.

Thank you for your prayers

MetalKova...