Saying goodbye

I just finished packing my bag and it's about 10 after 3 on Friday morning. We have an hour befor we head to the airport so I just wanted to write down a few things before I start the returning process.
First of all...THANK YOU for all of your prayers and support throughout this life-changing experience. This trip has been so different from what I ever could have imagined and I praise God for that. I have learned and grown so much and I can't wait to spring into action when I get home (even though I have no idea what that "action" might look like, haha).
David Bordner asked me to describe my trip in 3 words if I could...Unexpected, life-changing, and beautiful. Unexpected because the Lord met me in ways I never could have dreamed, life-changing because, well, my life is changed! And beautiful because how else can I describe the people that I have encountered here? I am looking forward to being home, but I am honestly at the point where I want to stay. I have built such great friendships and I finally feel like a part of a community/family and I just want to stay and soak in that. I love this country with all my heart and I think the hardest part about leaving is not knowing when I will be back.

I have been think about Slovenia ever since Ben Izzard talked about the 2 week missions trip about 2 years ago. I've been focused on Slo for so long so now what should I focus on Lord? I know He will show me in time and I totally trust His plan; it's just hard because I do feel so connected to this country. So please be patient with me when I return. It's going to be a process:) See you all soon! Thank you again for all your love, prayers, and support!

Winding down

Monday night is that last night I will be spending in Gloria and Seba's house. Then Heather and I will spend our final nights in the same place we spent our first nights, at Hondo and Trisha's!
I can honestly say that I am overwhelmed with grief at the idea of leaving. That last few days have been brutal and they seem to be getting harder.

Today I said goodbye to one of the most amazing young women I have ever met. Her name is Mana. God brought her into my life during the first week of camp and I am so grateful to Him for that. Words can't describe the love I have for that girl and saying goodbye was....awful. But we do plan on seeing each other again very soon:)

As far as MetalKova is concerned, God has given me peace and I have excepted that a prayer walk most likely wont happen. I am ok with that even though it's super hard to be. I think the Lord wants me to feel the weight of this place and pray for someone else to rise up and do something about it. But I will always have a special place in my heart for MetalKova. I plan on spending the day in Ljubljana on my last Sunday and I am hoping to spend some time outside MetalKova just praying and turning it over to the Lord. It's time for some closure. *sigh* See you all soon! Please pray for Wednesday and Thursday, that's the intern debrief time:)

tough day at the office.

So I have spent the last few nights in Ljubljana and I forgot my Bible and journal so my blog gets to be my journal haha.

Today was a rough day. For starters, the coffee I've been drinking the last few days hasn't had quite enough caffine so I've had a headache for the last 2 almost 3 days and have been slightly on edge, haha. But that's just icing on the cake. Today we interns had planned to go on a prayer walk in a part of town that my heart has been really drawn to. It's called MetalKova. It's a really popular teen hangout spot and one of the girls I met at my first week of camp took me there and said it was one of her favorite places to be. As soon as I walked into the area I immediately felt the evil and darkness. The entire place is decorated with grafitti, paintings, sculptures and many more types of art. While I admired the artistic value of the place, it was hard to get past how dark it was, even on such a hot and sunny day.

This place has been on m heart since I was there about 3 or 4 weeks ago. I have been wanting to do a prayer walk there and haven't stopped thinking about it. I went back last week with one of my friends and took some pictures and it almost seemed darker through my camera.

The girl that brought me there the first time told me that kids hang out there because it's the only place they feel at home. It's the only place they can relax and "be free." Really, the only freedom they have there is to get high, wasted, and even more lost in their own pain. I hate that. I saw some of the kids that hang out at MetalKova and my heart broke and still continues to break for them.

So anyway, we interns were going to do a prayer walk there. But before we left one of our leaders asked me about it and shared her concerns with me. She said she didn't have a good feeling about us going without some sort of spiritual leader with us. She thought that because this place is so evil and spiritually dark that we might get in over our heads spiritually. I can't say that I don't agree with her because I do and I totally trust her gut instincts. But I still feel...depressed about it. I guess that's the right word because as soon as I excepted the fact that it wouldn't happen without a "spiritual leader" my heart sank so low. The worst part about this is that all of our leaders are at a retreat until 2 days before we leave and trying to figure out a time when they will be around before we go is super stressful for me. Plus I know that if I leave without doing a prayer walk through this place I will really regret it. People have said "you could just pray for it without being there" which kinda frustrated me a bit because that's not how I work and that's not what has been laid on my heart! In this case I need to see what I'm praying for in order to fully engage in the pain and darkness of it and in order to really feel the compassion that God has given me for these kids! UGH.

I guess one positive way to look at this is that if I hadn't been told to wait, I wouldn't be so frustrated right now and then I wouldn't be blogging about it and asking each of you to pray. Please pray for this place and these kids. Please pray that I will have a chance to do this prayer walk. Please pray that one day the darkness in this place will be replaced with the light of Christ and that He would redeem it into a place where teens can hang out and worship Him! Who knows maybe those walls will be torn down and a church will be built there in it's place....anything is possible with Christ. I love this country.

Thank you for your prayers

MetalKova...

Too fast, but not fast enough...

Well, this is my last full week in Slovenia. Just like the title states it has come too fast but not fast enough. I am so excited to see everyone and be back in a culture that I understand, haha! But, when I think about actually leaving and knowing that I most likely wont be back next year; I get very sad. This is about as bitter-sweet as it gets. So I will just have to live each day to the fullest! :) So for this weeks agenda: Monday-the zoo! (yessssss) Tuesday-possible prayer walk with the interns then lunch and after that...dinner!! Wednesday-shopping with some lady friends! Thursday, Friday, and Saturday are still up in the air!

Thankfully Heather and I have been able to hang out with the same group of girls so it's been super fun getting to know them:) I think that's all for now...bye!!

Party time!

I'll be home in 2 weeks!!! I am so excited to be back in America with everyone I love:) But it's gonna be SUPER hard to say goodbye to everyone here. God has built up some awesome friendships and I am so thankful for that. For the last week and up until I go home I basically just get to do follow-up with students! I, along with the other interns, are also looking for ways we can bless the families we have had the pleasure of working with. I get to use my photoshop skills and process Gloria's wedding photos! The photographer they had at their wedding did a horrible job so she only has about 50 that she really likes and even those need a lot of work:( So that's one of my side jobs and I can't wait!
Tomorrow (Friday) Nate, Heather, and I are meeting a bunch of students at Lake Bled for the day and next week Heather and I are going shopping with a few girls:) I have been waiting to go shopping for the last 3 weeks, haha! Other than that we are just taking each day as it comes and trying to plan something else after each hang-out. Please pray that the Lord opens up windows to spend time with all these kids and continues to soften their hearts toward Jesus. thanks for your love!!

Love mal

*sigh of relief*

Aaaaaaaaaand we're done! While I know that in a couple of weeks I am going to miss the hustle and bustle of camp and always meeting new people, I am very relieved to be done. God was faithful as usual and gave me the energy and patience to make it through. Praise Him! Saturday is a day off at the seaside and I can't wait to swim in the Med. sea!! YAAAYYY! I don't know what else to say at the moment except please pray that I will be able to spend as much time with students as possible! Thanks:)
love everyone! Mal

Halfway there

Hello everyone! Hope you all are doing well:)

I am halfway done with the last camp and it's been a great week! I have moments when I get frustrated and annoyed but that is to be expected after a crazy 2 weeks:) God, as always, has given me strength each day to make it through. I have had a lot of fun with each of our rowdy kids and I love seeing their smiling faces throughout the day.

I wont deny that my attitude has been kinda poopy lately and, even though I didn't like that mind-set, I was stuck in it. Then Heather and I got a chance to talk with Kari and Amy and I was greatly encouraged by them. We also had a few hours of debrief time with the Spokane team and it was great to see them one more time before they left. And while I was getting ready this morning, God brought back a very important memory. It was from back when I was concerned that Slovenia might not be His plan for me. Through that struggle I realized that it doesn't matter where I am as long as I'm serving the Lord. This is something I have been struggling with at the kids camp. I have been feeling like my skills could be used better by spending time with and building relationships with older kids that are really wrestling with the whole "Jesus thing." But God reminded me that it doesn't matter where I am, as long as I am serving Him. DUH!! I am so annoyed with myself for being so selfish and hard-headed. Lord forgive me! I have been blessed with the chance to love these kids and be a light to them at an early age. Almost all Slovenes never get that chance. What a beautiful opportunity for me, thank you Father! I may be tired and sweaty all day but I know the Lord wants me here and I feel SO honored and humbled by that. Hvala Gosposd, pojem alelujia! (Thank you Lord, I sing hallelujiah!)

I am so excited to continue working here, but I am also very homesick. Please pray that it would not get in the way of my job here:) Thank you! LOVE!!!

One month??

Dang! It's hard to believe I have already been here a month! Time has been flyin:)
Today the second camp ended and the last one starts on Monday! A few people have asked me how I feel about the next camp and honestly I have no idea. I don't really feel anything right now and that is a dangerous spot for me to be in. Satan has already used that as an opportunity to give me the wrong feelings. Because I have been struggling to process everything I think I have just turned that part of my brain off. So I think I'm stuck on auto-pilot for a while. But it's ok cause God is good and He will provide everything I need at the perfect time!

I think something I have learned recently is that instead of asking God for the ability to have faith, we just have to tell Him we have faith in Him. God doesnt just make us better Christians all of a sudden; He gives us circumstances in which we can choose to be better Christians. So God is faithful all the time, sometimes we aren't looking in the right direction.

So if you all could please pray for supernatural strength and patience as I venture into next week I would greatly appreciate it. Also for protection against Satan's attacks, cause they are coming full-force right now. Thank you! I love you all so much! (see you in 3 weeks:D)

Wow...

First week of camp done!!!

I went into the camp feeling uncertain and pretty nervous about how things would go. The first day was hard because I was feeling inadequate as a teacher (yes I taught English:D). But after talking it out with one of the other teachers and Mateja (the leader of the camp) God calmed my fears and gave me confidence! Praise Him for His faithfulness!!

The rest of the week went by so fast. I felt as though I was on auto-pilot the whole time so I'm having trouble processing everything that happended. But I do know that every single student heard and responded to the message of Christ and each one was a completely different person by the end of the week. It was the most amazing sight I have ever seen. Though I'm not sure if any of them made a commitment to Christ, they were all asking questions and thinking deeply about accepting the gift of God's forgivness. That is actually a HUGE prayer request. It's so easy for the students to contemplate God while at a camp where they're surrounded by crazy Americans who express more love than some of their parents. But the real challenge is when they go back to their normal lives and are constantly being pulled down by spiritual warfare. Please pray for the hearts and minds of our students; that they would continue to seek the Lord and that they would stay involved with the community of Slovene Christians that were at the camp. Another huge praise is that we have plenty of sign-ups to have the camp in my home town!! We needed ten and I believe we have eleven coming, haha God is so cool:).

As far as my heart, please pray that I will be able to process what happened at camp. God revealed so much to me and I want to remember how amazing that was. I am also jumping into camp #2 and I'm pretty tired. Please pray for energy and strength and for the students that I will be meeting this week. I cant wait to build more friendships!! One last thing, if you could please pray for the relationships that I developed last week would continue to grow and that God will lead me to the ones I need to spend the most time with, I would greatly appreciate it!! Thank you all for you love and support. God has been doing some incredible things in my life and all around me and your prayers have played a HUGE role in that. I can't wait to see what He will do in the next 4 weeks:) I love you all SSSOOOOOO much and miss you bunches<3>

This is the castle we stayed at:)

My Beautiful group!! Starting from the left: Nika, Laura, me, Sara, Patricija, Naja (my fantastic translator, and Katja<3)

The view from my room after a crazy rain/thunder/lightning storm

Me and Miha being awesome!!

Sick

hey everyone, I am sick. On wednesday I woke up with a major upset stomach and spent most of the night and morning in the bathroom. My host family had it before Heather and I moved in and they said it's only a 24 hour virus. Camp orientation starts thursday and camp starts on Sunday. I would really like to be at the top of my game and I don't want this to spread to anyone else. Plus it's really hard to be away from home while sick:( Thank you all for your prayers, I will let you know how I feel in a couple of days:)

Home at last!

Hey everyone!! I hope you all are super!
Heather and I spent our first night in Radovljica where we will be living for the next month and a half!! We are staying with Sebastian and Gloria and their adorable little boy Patrick. Please pray that Heather and I will be able to adjust to living here quickly. Since we got here we have been staying with Americans so it's been a lot easier to relax. But now we are staying with Slovene's so, at least for me, it's a bit harder to get comfortable. they told us to make ourselves at home and to act as though this is our house but I still find it difficult to "be normal" haha! So please pray for that. I haven't seen much of the town but from what I have seen it's absolutley gorgeous! The view from the house is fantastic and I am so excited to explore;) I will hopefully be sending out some postcards from here pretty soon!! P.S. I have literally just been informed by Seba and Gloria that someone is going to let Heather and I borrow a couple bikes!!Haha I feel so European!! Woohoo:) Pictures will come later. Love you all so much, talk to you sooooooonnn!

English camp update!!

Hey another quick update!

Heather and I will be working at an English camp in Radovljica. Currently there are only five signed up and we need ten in order to have a camp. Please pray that we get enough signed up by next week!!! Thank youuuuu!!

Zivijo!

Zivijo! (Hello!)
The last couple of days have been....hard. I have been struggling with feeling connected to my team and trying to fight against my natural tendencies to retreat into my own world and keep everything to myself. It really helped when the whole JV team met to discuss camp stuff on Thursday. I think a largge part of the reason I am feeling alone is because I haven't had a lot of time to spend in the word. Whenever I'm not with the team I usually fall asleep, haha. Today (Friday) I sat in the sun for maybe half an hour reading my bible. praying, and listening to worship music. That helped a lot as far as encouragement, and knowing that God is with me but I still haven't found anyone that I can truly open up to. I know I need to push myself to be open with people and step out of my comfort zone, but it's so hard right now for some reason. I am struggling with feeling inadequate as a leader and even as a person. I know this is from the enemy but it's so hard to fight when I'm so far from my comfort zone and from people that already know me. I guess I just need your prayers. Please pray that....I would be able to spend as much time in the word and worshipping as possible; that our team (especially the interns) will become unified and that God will provide at least one person for me to be real with; finally that I will be protected from believing Satans lies. Oh, one more; that I wouldn't try to change my personality in order to fit in and be excepted by everyone else.


Wednesday: It rained so hard!

Wednesday: thunder, lightning, the works.

Thursday staff meeting.

Happy birthday Amy!

JV group minus a few...

Watching World Cup Slo vs. USA

So intense!

These are some first week pics. There hasn't been a whole lot of picture taking because I am still learning the ropes and getting comfortable. Plus there are only certain times that I am able to whip the camera out since I'm here for the people not the pictures;) But anyway, day two has been great! Had a blast teaching English at the school and today has been fairly cool and overcast. It rained crazy hard during dinner and the cold air has been heavenly. Before dinner I stood in the rain for a minute or so, it was quite refreshing and the song that came to mind was "Hello Seattle..." hahaha yeah that's still the jet lag talking. Almost completely adjusted! Tomorrow is more English teaching with David (Bordner) and then some arrands for Trish and Hondo. I fee like something else is happening, but I do not remember! Whatever it is, it's gonna be legit cause that's just how we roll. Love!


Saying goodbye at the airport:( such sweet sorrow:)
(this is a horrible picture of me but I still think it's impresive that I got all of us in the shot:)


Kari and the others (whom you can't see) wiating intently for the bus...



Heather and Amy stayed behind while Kari and I faced death from the rapidly approaching cars. But they crossed later.

A performance at the Preserne (preh-shehrn) square

Me in front of Heather's and my temporary home!

This is where I sleep until Wednesday.

Another view of me bed. Heather's room is to the right.

The living room and the dining room behing the couch. Kitchen in the back left. From the left is Kari, Caleb, Hondo, Heather, and Amy in the front.

I am here!

My plane landed in Slo at around 11:40 this (Monday) morning. There were no troubles with flights so praise Jesus for that! Unfortunately I still think it's Sunday and I am not very coherent at this time....They, my temp host family, wont let me and Heather, who is also an intern, go to sleep until 9 at the earliest:( haha! Same with tomorrow and if we can make it without naps we should be set!

We are staying with Trisha and Hondo and their 2 year old son Caleb who are American members of Josiah Venture. Tomorrow we are jumping right into business by going to a private Catholic highschool to teach English. Then we have a bunch of social gatherings and stuff like that but because my brain is kinda fried, I'm having trouble remembering our "schedule" which apparently changes all the time so it's all good.

It hasn't registered yet that I'm actually here. I guess that's mostly because I'm so tired but it's still a lot to comprehend. I don't know what else to right so I think I'm done rambling for now:) I LOVE YOU AAAALLLLLLLLLL!!!! bye:)

Woot! One Weeeeek!!!

Hey peeps!

Wow, it's hard to believe I am taking off in less than a week now. God has been so good to me and I am so blessed to have this opportunity. I haven't started packing yet, I am still working on getting what I need. the packing will happen the night before I leave. (Once a procrastinator, always a procrastinator).

I'm sorry I won't be able to see everyone before I go but I have good news...I'm coming back!! Haha, I will be able to hang out with people when I get back in August so no worries;)



There are a few things I would appreciate prayer for...



1. That I would be protected against satans stupid attacks (he started going after my car last week. grrr)

2. That God will continue to provide financially as I purchase what I need in order to be ready.

3. That this last week with family and friends would be stress free and filled with joy!



Thank you all! Much love,

mal

Two weeks!!!!

Hey guys! It's my first post on my blog, hoorayyyy!!

Anyway, I am heading out in two weeks and my stomach is one big ball of nerves and excitement. I can't wait to see what God is going to do this summer! He has already done so much in my life and I look forward to being stretched more and more.
As most of you know, I was struggling with having faith that God would provide the money I needed to get to Slo. I have always known that God CAN provide I've just had a hard time believing that He WOULD provide. I have never been so challenged in my faith before this time. God has showed me what it means to walk in blind faith and to trust Him to guide me through each day. I know now that it's not about where I am; as long as I'm serving my savior and He gets the glory that's all that matters! It has already been an incredible journey and I haven't even left yet! God is so good!

Thank you all for your overwhelming love and support. I am so grateful to have all of you in my life! If you could please continue to pray for me would so appreciate it. Here are a few subjects you can pray for:
-That I will continue to fix my eyes on Jesus as I get more and more excited to go.
-That God would continue to provide financially as I purchase what I need for the trip.
-That my heart and the hearts of the other interns and students would be softened and prepared for God to work in mighty ways!

I love, love, love you all! God bless and thank you again!

Mal